Well, I thought it was about time for me to enter into the wonderful world of blogging. I've been actively reading a few blogs for a few months now and it's inspired me to step into the world myself and actually get my brain back to functioning enough to write something of substance. I give credit to my lovely friend A for inspiring me to get off my butt and actually do something a bit more productive than watching another episode of "The Bad Girls Club" - oh reality TV, my ultimate guilty pleasure. I think it was an odd conversation my hubby, K, and I had in the car the other day that finally inspired me to get my blog up and running. So, it seems fitting to start with that little tale that shows how crazy my life can be.
Well, currently we are preparing our house to go on the market next week. Anyone who has gone through this painful process is aware of all the little things you need to do before random strangers coming strolling through your home to decide if they want to buy it. So, we've spent the last couple weeks dealing with our realtor, reorganizing and cleaning up a bit, getting home inspections and basically pulling our hair out with frustration. Due to all this fabulous stress, I haven't exactly been the friendliest gal to be around. I admit it - anytime I get overloaded or feel like too much is on my plate I freak out a bit. By freak out, I mean lash out and tend to be a little too hard on those around me. Therefore my poor hubby, K, has been the victim of a few tongue lashings the past few days about getting stuff done, and how much we have to do, and how I feel like I have to do everything. Now some of my points are justified, but I know in retrospect that I'm being harder on him that I should be and pretty much that he sometimes becomes the scapegoat for all my pent up aggression. In defense of my bad behavior I will say that I almost always realize after one of these verbal bashings that I was wrong and apologize for my actions. Yes, I know it's a little too little too late of a situation, but better to have realized and apologized then not to realize it at all.
So, sure enough yesterday I came home from work after being stuck there an extra hour for a mindless staff meeting to find out that we now have a bunch of crap to fix around the house due to our home inspection. We're talking nit picky little things that are just annoying and feel like one more crazy thing to do on my never ending to-do list (how did you like that blog title reference....nice!). So, I went off a little bit on K about how he isn't doing enough to help and how he needs to call so and so to get this fixed. Obviously he was annoyed with my behavior, but we got in the car with G, our gorgeous baby boy (had to intro him since I hadn't mentioned him yet), and headed off to do a few errands. As soon as we got in the car, I realized I had been a brat and promptly apologized. Sure enough K accepted it but responded with, "It's ok I'm used to being the victim of your verbal abuse under times of stress. I'm pretty much Rhianna and your Chris Brown." Wow, all I could do at that point was laugh hysterically. Despite my annoyance, and frustrations my husband just called me Chris Brown and that was freaking funny! I'm the pop culture junky, so for him to bust out a great pop culture reference like that was amazing.
The moral of the story is don't be a Chris Brown to your gem of a husband Rhianna. So, I decide this first blog is dedicated to you K - I promise to always love and appreciate you and to stop being so Chris Brown like.....as long as you let me stand under your umbrella...ella...ella...for the rest of our lives.
Lately, it's been really setting in how much my life is going to dramatically change in the next year or so. For those that aren't as much in the know with me, here's a little update. In a month, my husband, K, will be commissioning as an Army lieutenant - yep, a butter bar. K has spent the past 2 years in grad school on behalf of the Army and we've been so lucky to have him home for 2 and half years living the life of a student much more so than a soldier, but that time is coming to an end and to tell you the truth it scares the crap out of me. The thought of him going back into the "real Army" and realistically deploying again sometime in the relative future is nightmare-ish. Granted we spent the first year of our marriage on other sides of the globe and got through it coming out stronger and more connected for having gone through it, but mind you that was pre-baby. Since G was born our whole world has change (in so many amazing ways!) and the thought of playing the role of single mom while he's gone is so depressing. Granted I've known many great friends who have done it, but I love our 2 parent family. I love our rituals of fighting over bath and bedtime because we both want time with the little guy. I adore the classic family moments of playing with all of G's toys and all wearing bowls on our heads just to make him laugh. We're a family of 3 and I truly can't imagine us any other way. Just one of my fears facing this coming year of change.
Another change approaching is our move to Oklahoma ("where the wind comes sweeping down the plains"...yes, I know you just sang that in your head) for K's training this summer and then our more permanent move to Colorado around New Year's. Wow, so much moving, settling, and then moving again. I at least feel some comfort from having visited Oklahoma and finding a nice rental house and getting to know the town. It won't be that bad. It's just the anxiety of settling there and trying to meet friends to simply up and leave again 7 months later - the Army life is never easy. My mom has always reiterated the saying, "change is the only constant thing in life," and I believe it to be true, but it's never easy. We're both ready to move on from where we're at now, but wow it's just completely emotionally overwhelming. I've been trying to just keep telling myself we have time, but the truth now is we don't. We will be moving in 2 months and that's a short amount of time. I just feel like I'm in a speeding car and I'm slamming on the brakes and it's not slowing down. So, I guess it's time to ease off the brake and embrace the ride. Heck, I need to to suck it up, stick my head out of the window and the let the wind blow through my hair. Oklahoma here we come!!!!
